Tuesday, July 17, 2012

1st birthday party planning is underway

I have printed the invites and sent them out. They are mostly for those who I know will want them as a keepsake (family and a few select friends). I invited several people, family and friends alike. There will also be lots of kids there for Rit to play with.

I have bought the decorations. I won’t put them up until the week of the party, but I like knowing that I have them. It is one less thing to worry about. I will really only be decoration the living room and dining room.

I am still figuring out what I want to do for food. My thought is a veggie platter, fruit platter, and sandwiches (the party is from 2-5, though I am sure it will go longer). And of course cake, though I will probably order that. I will make cupcakes though.

As a fellow August ’11 mom said, this isn’t a party for the baby but more for the parents to celebrate their first year of parenthood.

In just two weeks my baby will turn a year old. I can’t help but wonder where the time went. I think back on the year and I am amazed by everything that happened, and how much stronger it has made me. The best thing about this year is the little boy I have now. He is my world. And no matter how old, or how big he gets, he will always be my little boy, my prince.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

First date post divorce

I just had my first date post divorce. I was very nervous about it as I had not been on a first date in almost 6 years. This was also the second time I had ever been on a date with someone I was not friends with prior.
We first met on OK Cupid. We swapped numbers and had been texting back and forth when he asked me if I wanted to meet for coffee. I said sure. We set up a time, and then he suggested we meet for lunch instead which worked better for me. We met at a local restaurant which is known for the bagels, but has really good sandwhiches and soups. He bought my meal which was good, but the date was just really uncomfortable. There was no chemistry there for me. The energy I felt just wasn't right.

Instead of boring ou with the details of my 45 minute date, here is a list of things not to do on a first date:
  • Wait in your car when you said you would meet by the front doors.
  • Bring up your ex. Or ask about your date's ex. That is something best saved for a later date. A much later date.
  • When you ask about your date's ex, bring it up like the guy/girl is already a bad guy. Even if s/he is, it puts the other person on the defensive.
  • When your date looks at the time because they have to go back to work (which you knew), tell them that you are going to kidnap them. Joking or not, it is just creepy.
  • Say "Aww man" when they tell you they have to leave to go back to work. It sounds too much like guilt tripping, and who wants to be with someone who will guilt them.
And these are from just today.

On a lighter side...
A blog I read, Hindsight Is Pretty Funny, did a great, and amusing, list of what not to say on a first date awhile ago. I highly recommend reading it, and her blog.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Thankful and Appreciation

Many times in life, we forget how good it can be until we see someone who has it worse.

When ExH and I first separated, I was angry at him and hurt. We have now reached a point now that the divorce is final where we can be friendly to each other. It has made co-parenting Rit a lot easier. I also think that it will benefit Rit down the road too, seeing his parents work together even if they are not together. I've realized that, sadly, this is not the norm. I see it with my friends and with some of the moms in my online single moms group; for whatever reason the parents cannot get along whether it be because of the mom or because of the dad. Hearing what my friends go through (the moms and the dads), and seeing what the single moms online go through, I realized just how lucky I am that ExH and I are able to put aside our issues when it comes to Rit. My friend who is a single dad told me that he envies the fact that ExH and I can do this, as he wishes his ex would be willing to do the same.

I am also very thankful for the friends I have. They understand my situation and when we make plans, it is based on when I have Rit and when he is with ExH. My best friend has adopted Rit as her nephew. When she visits, it's part time with just the two of us and part time with Rit. My friends are there to support me. I lost many friends after the affair happened. For the ones I didn't lose, most of them have been irreparably damaged. A few friendships became stronger. Since then, I have expanded my friends circle. I have made new friends; friends who know me as the strong, happy woman I am now, not as I was when I was with ExH (as many friends have commented that I seem a lot happier now than when I was with him).

I am thankful that I have a good job. There are times I get frustrated because it seems like I have never have enough money to pay all the bills and do something for Rit and I. Especially last month when I ended up having over $1000 in unexpected bills and repairs. But at the end of the month, I am able to pay all of the bills, put food on the table, get clothes and diapers for Rit, and even put a little into savings for each of us. And sometimes we can afford to go somewhere like the Zoo or Aquarium. I see friends struggling with money, even when they have 2 incomes.

I am thankful for my family as well. They have helped me so much, from watching Rit for me so I can go to work, to having me over for dinner several times a week, to just being there for me. They have been a great help to me.

I challenge you to take a look around your own life and find at least 3 things that you are thankful for and appreciate.